Ginger

As my boyfriend sits in his old car
reliving his seven years of good memories
I can only think of you.
I know exactly how he feels.

I got you in high school
Abused with stickers by my mother
Betty Boop grinning benignly on the right driver window
Little Calvin pissing in the back
Rosary swinging from the rearview mirror
taunting me with the possibility of bad luck
lest I remove it.
There's that dent from the garage
the first time I tried to back you up.

And how we drove!
Our late nights at the high school
the way you bankrupted me
as I proudly insisted on paying my own gas
for my very own car.
We went to bowling alleys, to parks
to hockey games.
I remember those early early mornings
digging you out of snow 
cracking ice off of your windshield.
Those tough Chicago winters
with salt eating your parts.

In college you were a best friend.
Getting groceries, getting drunks, giving rides
An ever generous benefactor
Abused by my dear friends.
Those long rides past cornfields
The lead-foot might of marathon rides
from Chicago-Champaign- Carlyle.
The new thrill of highways
but never ever a speeding ticket.

And you were brave in Colorado.
The very bravest, noblest car.
You took me to Colorado
That 16 hour drive
driving me further into committment.
3 states deep into the future
with someone not meant to be in it.

And did we try!
We drove all over Colorado
Nothing could intrigue him
and when he left
I sat down and cried in you.
Cried in parking lots at midnight
talked to you.
You drove me back to sanity
to food and shelter and calm.
And althought nothing was okay
You gave the hope it could be.

I'm sorry your death was inglorious
Not by my hand, by ice and bus
but I should thank you
I'm more myself than I ever was before
All those trite sayings about the journey
are never trite with you baby.
I miss you